Submissive Posturing

Whilst walking to work the other morning I realised that I spend more time looking down at the pavement than at my level eye-line. The realisation brought a wry smile to my face and a cajoling determination to stop this submissive tendency as soon as possible! I then wondered for just how long I’ve been like that? For how long have I not been seeing the architecture of the buildings around me, or not seeing the blue sky above me in favour of the grey paving slabs under my feet? It was rather worrying that the best I could come up with was "for quite a while".

After a little more thought about it, I came up with the following reasons:

1. I'm a tall man, although I think it was more because I was a tall child. I was head-and-shoulders above others in my peer group whilst at primary school so there was always an innate feeling that I didn’t want to stand or be singled out.

2. I'm not a 'pushy' person. With only a few exceptions (and usually only in close relationships) I don’t foist my opinions upon anyone unless asked to do so. I like the saying "Opinions are like assholes ... everyone has one" (Art Blakey) so I tend not to offer one unless explicitly asked (my opinion, that is, not my ass-hole!).

3. I'm not really a confrontational type of person. Despite having a fierce temper when truely provoked, I try to avoid situations where agression could be involved. I don't mean that in a wimpy kind of way, either. I have seen what violence and needless agressive postuting can do to someone's life, and I refuse to go down the same path. I will stand my ground in an argument, if I feel that I am right in my opinion, but the moment the first punch is thrown, whoever threw that punch, has lost ... whether or not the other person gets up again. There's another phrase I've seen before that goes, "I never enter a battle of wits against an unarmed mind". Presenting your arguments in a clear and consise way, with a level head and a calm voice, will win you more battles with me than you would using your fists.

4. As a 'solo' person, I'm rather anti-social. I find that (for example), once I put my iPod earphones in and switch the music on, I block the outside world out to a rather large degree. Basic instincts remain, of course. I pay attention to traffic passing me by, and make sure I don't walk into anyone, but I tend to see people as if I'm looking at them from behind a frosted window. I see the shapes, but don't register the actual details. Keeping my head down allows me to not make any unwanted or unintentional eye contact.

So where does this leave me? I honestly can't see me changing my habits now (old dogs, new tricks, etc., etc.), but I will try and make more of an effort to see the things around me. I've nothing to be afraid or ashamed of, so it's not through embarrassment I lower my head. I'm no less a man than any one else in this world, so I shouldn't be scared to hold my head up.

I can't believe I'm about to say this on here, but the chorus from the song Walk Tall by, erm, Val Doonican (please don't ask where it came from. It just did.) that I feel applies. It goes ...

Walk tall, walk straight and look the world right in the eye
That's what my mama told me when I was about knee high
She said son, be a proud man and hold your head up high
Walk tall, walk straight and look the world right in the eye

Well, here goes ...